Most of us like to do things well. Most people strive to do the best they can and usually take some measure of pride in their achievements. Wanting to do your best is a natural, healthy approach to life. Trying to be perfect, on the other hand, is a different matter. Humans are not perfect and in most cases, it is unreasonable to expect them to be perfect. Unfortunately, for many, a constant drive to be perfect rules much of their life, causing unhealthy amounts of stress and anxiety.
Why is this so? It would be impossible to say what drives the need for perfectionism in any individual, but one thing we can be sure of: it helps them feel safe and comfortable in some way. “If everything is perfect, I have nothing to worry about”. The problem is, they still worry. They constantly worry about getting things perfect!
For these people, it is more than just wanting to do their best. It is a subconsciously driven need of emotional protection – a need to feel good when somewhere deep inside, they don’t feel good. It helps create a sense of being in control. Unfortunately, of course, it is something over which they have very little control.
This relentless quest for perfection is a common symptom for many of my clients. Although they may not seek help specifically for it, it is often a part of many problems, for which they have no answers. Like anything that is generated by the subconscious, it can only be eliminated by the subconscious. Many people find ways to cope with their fears and tensions, and never really deal with the causes. This usually leads to a stressful life of physical illness and further emotional unrest.
When the subconscious feelings that cause these problems are eliminated, the resulting symptoms are also eliminated. When the drive for perfection is no longer a part of their life, these clients are amazed to find they are not only free to make mistakes occasionally, they are also truly free to be relaxed, healthy and contented. Thankfully, with the desire to change and a little help, we have the means to release subconscious feelings that cause unhappiness and ill health.
In the words of the old song: “Do what you do, do well…”. But if you have to be perfect, you will be stressed. Let your subconscious release you from this unhealthy need.